When You Feel Like Giving Up

Recently a colleague of mine lamented about a part of his vision that was not unfolding as he was envisioning it. It seemed there were constant inhibitors to his progress and forward movement. As often happens to many of us in life, there came a point for him where he felt like giving up.

“What’s the use?” he would cry out.

Well, I couldn’t answer his question about what the use is. I don’t know what the use might be of constantly trying and having nothing work out to move you forward, and in fact having things happen that continue to set you back. There is no “use” for that. One could argue that it builds character and perseverance and other good things.

But when we’re the one in the middle of it, those only sound like flippant platitudes leaving us with the unspoken response of “you have no idea what it’s like.” That might be true, but also there is the real possibility that someone else has experienced or is experiencing the same thing. So, albeit there may be no “use” for the circumstance, there might be use in the speaking out your truth about it – as ugly as it may seem, as there might be some shared experience in your midst, and who knows, you may or may not come up with a new outlook or new response out of the sharing. If nothing else, you might just know you’re not alone. Your misery has company.

But I did offer the following piece of advice, which aligns with the overall philosophy of the Quantum Vision...

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You still have control of something – you still have a choice. You can choose to press on and try something else, something new, or a new, modified or tweaked version of something you’ve already tried, or even a repeat of something that didn’t work but might benefit from another try, just as it was. Or you can do nothing. You can give up. That is a choice, just as doing something else in an attempt to move forward.

Basic premise – You can GIVE UP, or you can GIVE MORE. My advice – GIVE MORE.

"Why?"

My response: "Why not?"

"Because it continually hurts to give more and get nothing in return."

Yes, I understand, but doesn’t it continually hurt to be in the limbo and regret of not having what you envision? What I’m saying is there is hurt in both alternatives. Why not choose the alternative that at least offers you the possibility that the outcome will be different. To be as you envision.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.”

“But I’ve tried and tried. I’ve tried everything. I can’t think of anything else to try. Isn’t there some point where you just say ‘Forget it. It’s just not going to happen. Give it up already.’”

Okay, maybe there is a point. But how about if that point is not now? If you move forward with that mentality you can inspire yourself to try just one more thing – then do that again. And again.

Remember the practice they use to get the greyhounds to run around the track? Put a rabbit in front of them. Keep the prize just out of reach. All right, that's not a very PC image, so let's make it the old dangle a carrot in front. You can put a carrot before yourself. Couldn't you just do ONE more thing before you give up, just one more?

What if your self-coaching voice was a constant “Okay, you can give up – IF – you try just one more thing…?” You’d be compelled to make efforts to move forward in perpetuity. Isn’t that a great word? It’s like expelling tobacco into a spittoon. PerpeTUity!

In addition, let’s consider some psychological math. Suppose you did try another thing, and another, and another. And what if your life ended and you never realized that Vision. Of course that would be very sad, but you’d really be no worse off than if you had given up choices ago.

Now imagine if one of the successive attempts resulted in a victory, a big move forward, or better yet – your vision realized. You would be much better off than if you’d given up. That would have guaranteed a negative result. There’s still that possibility. There’s still that hope.

And think of all the perseverance and character you’re building. : )

It seems a no risk proposition – it can’t get any worse than if you give up, but there’s always the possibility that it could be better.

So, how many times should you keep trying before it’s time to throw in the towel? That’s up to you, but how about – oh let’s see – NEVER!

My advice worked on my colleague. He’s going to press on with that part of his vision. Oh, by the way – that colleague is ME.